Another day.

I’m finding it quite hard at work – I want somebody to ask me how I’m doing and to be able to sit and bore them with everything sad that happened over the holiday (quite a lot).

  • 1st Christmas without Mum, and all the ensuing logistical and emotional chaos
  • Dad and Sister fighting
    • Segue – they had a proper bust-up yesterday, where she came back home after avoiding him at her boyfriend’s house only to have him call her a whore and be generally unpleasant. Unfortunately my advice to ignore him came by the time she’d already called him an ungrateful git, so hey ho. I think she’s leaving the house today, either for her ex’s mum’s house (hmm) or back to uni. No word from him on the situation as yet.
  • Lack of any actual relaxing time for myself over the break
  • The Scattering. Unpleasant.
  • That horrible dream I had where my younger son died after falling off my lap down the side of a building and a woman held his body out to me saying that he didn’t exist any more.
  • The overwhelming feeling I have that the world is too full of things to be sad about and that I’m going to drown in them if I don’t find a raft of happy thoughts to cling to.
  • That meeting with the doctor where she explained the whole ‘aggressive metastatic relapse’ concept. Not nice.
  • That walk with my aunt where she explained that she got the menopause at 40 rather than 45 (admittedly not personally relevant to me but I do get a slight shudder whenever I think of how close I might have got to not having kids)
  • The fact that my younger son has got approximately 12 words when he should be using (not KNOW, mark you, but be USING) over 400 at this age.
  • I’m worried about another potentially pre-cancerous mole on my back, plus a painful one on my face.
  • I’m overweight and my clothes don’t fit as well as they could and my shoes hurt my feet. And my hair looks untidy and always will.
  • Basically, WAH WAH WAH.

These are things that are currently making me sad.

I feel like I ought to apply balance and talk about the good things too, but the good things can fuck off for the moment. I’m sick of balance. Gah.


Hello there.

I’ve started this because I have officially got tired of walking along the street muttering to myself. Admittedly I will still probably do that, but it would be nice if the stuff I was muttering about yesterday got out of the way for the new stuff I wish to mutter about today. Also, I am too lazy to use a pen and paper.

Gosh, I sound like a delight.

Anyway. In this blog I will mostly be talking about feminism (both the serious and everyday kind, which are sometimes the same thing), babies/children, science and the myriad idiocies of the world that surrounds me. There may be swearing.